Life In Singletown
Many of you will read that one word and shudder. Oh yuck! Singleness is the waiting room until real life begins, right? It’s when days feel like years and bitterness at God can fester because life isn’t moving at the speed we think it should.
There’s this frantic rush to escape “singletown” and move on to the utopia that is known as “relationshipville.” Marriage, you sigh . . . won’t life be perfect when that day is finally here? But that thinking is simply incorrect.
Relationships don’t bring eternal bliss, and singleness isn’t a cosmic waiting room.
The fact is God created us for a period of solitude. We weren’t meant to spend our whole lives as part of a half. Yes, for most of us that’s where we will end up, but the stages and seasons before that happens are so important. We’re meant to cherish the time we have before we are married.
If there was nothing of value to be taken from the time between birth and marriage, then we might as well have emerged from the womb with our spouse’s name tattooed on our forehead. Our birth certificates would not only include our height, weight, and name, but also that of the person we are predestined to spend the largest portion of our lives with.
Maybe some of you are thinking, “yeah, that sounds like a plan to me!” But consider what you would miss. God is the ultimate romance author. If you have a hard time reconciling God and romance, crack open that big book that’s laying somewhere in your house and check out Song of Solomon. Sheesh, that book is racy! But that is the kind of passion the Lord wants us to experience. However, you’ll notice throughout the book, a weird warning appears multiple times, “... do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time.”
Hey all you singles out there, that warning is for you! Do not attempt to awaken love UNTIL. Until the time is appropriate. Until you are emotionally and spiritually ready. Until God fans the flame and blesses the relationship.
Attempting to circumvent God’s plan in order to hurry things up will only do you a disservice. Do you not trust that He knows better than you in all things? Why would you want to settle for a weakened version of passion instead of what God has modeled for us in His Word?
So yes, God has some pretty awesome (and probably steamy things) planned for your future. But twiddling your thumbs and waiting patiently for that season isn’t what singleness is about. Singleness can be fleeting. It’s about having the opportunity to grow on your own. You won’t be bogged down with the issues of another, but able to focus on yourself and your relationship with the Lord.
That’s the real goal of our lives. To see God move and to be moved by Him. To learn more about Him and to allow Him to mold us into the person we were meant to be. When you are single you will have the most time to devote to the Lord and yourself than you probably ever will again. This season is a critical growth period for your spiritual health and emotional health.
Singleness is fun, too! Meet new people, have adventures, strengthen lifelong friendships. When you are in a relationship or married, those things are harder to do. Impossible? No! But with so much of your attention devoted to your family, your time is not as carefree as the blessed days of singleness..
What if I never get married? I hear some of you asking that question. There are many who dream of marriage and kids, and it never happens. If that is you, have you been abandoned? Is God punishing you? Did you do something wrong and miss “the one?” The answer to all those questions is a solid no!
God created your inmost being. He’s the one who knit you together before you were even born. There is a plan and purpose for your life, and is it good! Our lives on earth are a drop in the bucket compared to eternity. But that doesn’t mean you sit around waiting to die so you can eventually live.
Live now! As a single for life, you’ll be able to do and experience amazing things. The ties that bind many of us don't apply to you. You have a freedom we all long for. Look for opportunities that are prepared just for you. I understand the difficulty in staying single for life, but open your heart and let the Lord fill you up with joy. Let God make your journey one of beauty instead of ashes.
To everyone in “singletown,” embrace the awesomeness that is your singleness! Use this time to learn how to enjoy life’s ride. Sucking as much enjoyment and wisdom from each stage and season until you roll into the next. Singleness isn’t a form of torture, but a period of celebration.
Give yourself the freedom to think about singleness differently, the way the Lord intended. Let go of the disappointment of being single, and embrace life in all of its stages and seasons - that’s when life gets exciting.